06.12.06 - 9:15 p.m.

poor moo cow

It has been an atypical day in the jungle; I just stuffed a pound and a half of hamburger down my garbage disposal. This is an atrocity for a few reasons: I don't cook meat very often (I was going to feed it to guests tomorrow), and I NEVER (okay, 4 times now) thow edible food away. I am queen of disguising leftovers so that they are reborn into a new unrecognizable dish. But I took it too far, no amount of ketchup and salsa was going to make that nasty mess into tasty sloppy joes. Making this even more painful for me is that I couldn't even feed the mess to my compost pile. My apologies to the cow I didn't make good use of.



06.09.06 - 12:27 p.m.

sobriety amongst drunks

Howdy y'all.
I think I'm developing a new attitude towards alcohol. Since I was invited to two parties this evening (poor me!) and didn't want to become someone else's transportation problem, I remained sober for both parties, then returned home to people who were far less than sober.

the GOOD -
I baffled people by swinging around a porch pole three times on my first try when I was told I would only have access to the house if I'd pole dance first. I think they were initially after grinding, but were wowed enough not to care.

the BAD -
Someone brought the best homemade ginger liquor I'm ever tasted, and I could only have a tiny sip. (Um, maybe more than a tiny sip, but I *really* would have liked to have more!)

the UGLY-
A sample of what I heard this evening:
"I'll mess a fucker up for thinking he can beat me up, I'm from the city where people kill each other. I'll automatically assume someone is trying to kill me and I'm not just going to punch someone in the face, I'll break a glass and shove it in their neck."

followed by "I'm not trying to say I'm a badass, that's just the way it is"

Do I just not hear these things after a few drinks, or just not remember them as my reaction would be to try to diffuse the situation by breaking into a rendition of "Kung Fu Fighting" complete with 70's disco kung fu moves?

m'kay . . .



06.09.06 - 11:23 p.m.

midnight snack time / perhaps I've been brainwashed by dairy industry

I just came up with (yet another) cool idea that I have no interest in persuing: custom ice cream.

The process would be a little like choosing pizza styles and toppings, and you would receive your order within seven work days. The business would require a wicked good operations manager on staff, and I imagine that wouldn't be cheap, but I think the effort would pay off.

Perhaps someone is doing this already?

My first order would be a variation on spumoni: diced dried cherry bits in pistacio flavored ice cream ribboned with hard chocolate.
What would your first dream ice cream be?



06.09.06 - 10:12 a.m.

stop touching your joystick!

I've always wondered if this would happen: Fia Curley of the Associated Press has reported that a new type of detox clinic is opening in Amsterdam - the clients are video game addicts.

From the article posted on Yahoo! News:
Like other addicts, Bakker said, gamers are often trying to escape personal problems. When they play, their brains produce endorphins, giving them a high similar to that experienced by gamblers or drug addicts. Gamers' responses to questions even mirror those of alcoholics and gamblers when asked about use.

The loved ones of uber-video-gamers must be so relieved! I don't personally know any hard-core-problem cases, but the folks I have visited with who spend too much time with video games tend to live in filty places. Common accessories include empty pizza boxes, empty bottles of mega-caffienated soda, and optional overflowing ashtrays. Not a pretty sight/smell.

I'm not making a particular point today; I was just reminded of my old flames Mario and Luigi, was also reminded that I'm still paying off school loans for a psychology degree that I'm not using.



06.08.06 - 10:48 a.m.

excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse meeeee!

I certainly don't want my reader (smiles and waves across the blogosphere) to get the impression that I'm an unhappy person. There are SO MANY unhappy people on the internet, blee-duuurrr? (Try that phonetically, it makes sense, I promise).

I like to think I’ve been a smartass since conception. Even when I was capitol-D depressed many years ago, I maintained my sense of humor, although it took a turn for the morbid. My point? There have been many people that I’ve never had the opportunity to thank in person for all the comfort they have given me by simply existing.

I cannot properly articulate the praise I’d like to lavish upon Steve Martin. Short version: I doubt I would have turned out to be quite the colorful character that I am if I hadn’t stumbled across his work when I was a child. He has been one of many ingredients to help me become a 6 year old trapped in an adult’s body, just like I hoped I’d be.

(I can't take credit for this pic)



06.08.06 - 8:50 a.m.

Facinating, Captain.

I could be and hope that I'm wrong, but I do believe I'm being snubbed.

I had planned on making this a whine-free zone, so I'll probably delete this when I'm done feeling huffy.

In any case, to the potential snubber, (who is as likely to read this as I am to vote for another descendent of George Bush) you're welcome.

* * *

In other news, how is it that I can sit at my desk at work for _hours_ looking dignified, and the moment I try to knock a tickly-booger out of my nose, three people walk in?



06.07.06 - 1:26 p.m.


I partially schmooshed a slug I didn't see on the outdoor facing side of the doggie-door attached to my house. Now my thumb feels slightly numb and tingly, but very smooth. It's kinda creepy.

And the slug? looked mostly normal afterwards and got washed off the doggie door with the contents of my dog's outdoor water bowl.



06.07.06 - 8:58 a.m.

two bits!

I went to the "beauty shop" yesterday for my six-week haircut a tiny bit apprehensive that T, my hairdresser/friend of 5 years, would be insulted that I've home-dyed my hair again. I don't know why I'm occasionally dissatisfied with my own dark brown w/ reddish highlights; perhaps when shitlets the fan I feel like I'm indisputably in CONTROL of something by altering my hair color. But I digress.

After washing my hair, and –almost- getting all the soap out of my right ear this time, T fluffed my damp hair around saying “ya know, this shape is still really good, are you sure you don’t just want your bangs done?” Someone might interpret that as “I don’t have time for your obsessive haircut standards” but what I heard was “Remember that I don’t charge you for bang trims since you always tip me $5”

“Well, my bangs definitely need help, and I’ll probably hate myself in 3 weeks if I don’t get my hair cut, so go ahead and make it short in back, but I want to keep the sides long up front, and eh, could you see if my neck has gone all wolfman?”

She actually _snorted_ as she laughed
“well DUH I’ve gotta shave your neck!”



2006-06-06 - 9:02 a.m.

stricken by reality

So, I am NOT the budding html badass I hoped to be . . . this page is going to be a mess for a while.



2006-06-02 - 2:55 p.m.


I'm giving this a run, hopefully I won't find myself goofing off at work toooooooo often.



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