Monday, Sept. 25, 2006 - 11:28 a.m.

fight for your right to party

Wow. Monday upon us already?

I didn't get much housework/home improvement accomplished this weekend, but compensated by accomplishing all sorts of "yesh, thish Shiraz ish verry tashty".

I behaved Friday night - I took at turn at designated driver, and blissfully imbibed in too much food: Barbequed ribs, fancy olives, apples, brie, goat cheese, bean soup, chocolate cake - I suspect that my (previously aikido, now neglected water acrobics) workout buddy is on a mission to sabotage me. How can I possibly resist her efforts to fatten me up if she's such a freaking fantastic cook?

I had set aside Saturday afternoon and evening for a friend's out-of-town 30th birthday celebration that never materialized, (???) and when the clock struck 9, much to Suki's dismay, I gave up on waiting on a "this is where and when we're celebrating" phone call and headed to a housewarming/equinox party with Mr. Hubby and Mr. Lee. Woot. Let's just say I got over being snubbed (?) very quickly, and with style.

I woke Sunday morning to Mr. Hubby snoring like a freight train, and Suki's stinky feet pressed into the back of my neck. I felt disoriented and thirsty, but mostly fine, hooray! After feeding all my critters I attempted to go back to sleep, haaaaaaaa. All four pets were compelled to reinact an obscure battle using the bed as their main stage; bouncing, sliding, hiding, chatting, scrambling, yowling and pouncing - as if Quentin Tarintino wrote the screenplay. Meanwhile Mr. Hubby provided the soundtrack, continuing in his quest to break the sound barrier.

Blah blah, gave up on sleep, made fantastic soup, puttered around and talked on the phone to family members for over three hours. Note to self: my neck still hurts, get a headset for the phone.

My question for you:
How do you explain to non-bloggers that blogs are not a sign of the apocalypse?



Friday, Sept. 22, 2006 - 8:35 a.m.

an unintentional copycat * UPDATED

Last night, I had a peek at my collection of Susan Powter books* and was startled by something . . .

. . . I'm a freaking copycat, of sorts.

My intention was to make myself sorta visible, so people have a vague idea of who they're dealing with, (hopefully) without being able to recognize me should they improbably come across me in real life someday.

I have moments when I think I'm being absolutely ridiculous, and I consider posting photos of myself, my handsome husband, my fantastic family and fartknocker friends. I'm facinated by and jealous of bloggers who share images from their lives, but for some reason, I'm not comfortable with doing so myself.

My question for you:
If you post photos from your life on the internet, how did you come to the decision to do so? Does it bother you that strangers know what the inside of your house (or whatever image you're sharing) looks like? Is it possible that I just have a bug up my ass?

* DISCLAIMER: I have LOTS and lots andlotsandlots of books about diet/exercise/nutrition in addition to even more books on other topics. In fact, I had to learn how to make bookshelves! (Mr. Lee helped me SO MUCH with the shelves I'm a tool to suggest that I build furniture by myself).
I'm not a complete wierdo. Really!

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Ahem. Mr. Lee? You forget that I have a oh-so-flattering "gorillas in the mist" photo of you AAAAAANNNNNDD have a spare key to your place.

Besides, the internet as we know it would collapse if I posted a photo of my boobies. You ever wondered why Mr. Hubby wears glasses? He had 20/20 before he saw me nekkid - his retinas couldn't handle the glorious sight.



Thursday, Sept. 21, 2006 - 9:42 a.m.

preemptive geeking out over Trailer Park Yoga **updated!

Yes MadameD, Trailer Park Yoga is a real workout tape. It was produced by Susan Powter in 2002, and is available for sale at her website.

I purchased the VHS (I want the DVD!), Susan’s most recent book “The Politics of Stupid” and the accompanying five CD audio series off of eBay before I took in little Suki-Pup, back when I seemed to have “play money” to spend. Ha! Did I mention ”Ha!”?
Since I really enjoyed her first book “Stop the Insanity” and I’m very fond of “Food” by Susan Powter, I was very curious as to what she was up to these days – besides, she looks freaking fantastic, I consider that a successful testament to her approach towards food.

I like listening to the CDs when the house is empty and I’m cooking or cleaning, it’s a bit like having a conversation that you can pause at any time. I’m ticked off (grrrrr) that they skip a bit in my DVD player (which is attached to the best speakers in the house) - I’m pretty sure it’s the fault of the person I purchased the CDs from. Ebay: friend and foe.

Why did it take me so long to get to the workout tape? I was intimidated by it since, as I mentioned, I know nothing about yoga. Although I’m undeservedly limber, I’m about as graceful as George W behind a microphone. I was also on a fantastic water aerobics spree for the longest time; sweating isn’t an issue, and you can’t fall down. These days, coordinating the puppy potty schedule with Mr. Hubby’s hectic work schedule leaves me very little opportunity to go to the pool after work. Hrumph. My skin and hair seem to appreciate the break from chlorine though . . . yet again, I digress.

I did the warm up portion of “Trailer Park Yoga” two days ago, and I'm still feelin' it in my abs. As soon as I find and print out some "hey so you're new to this yoga crap" diagrams, I'm going to give the rest of the tape a run-through and I'll report my findings to you. That is, if I can sit up long enough to type to you; I think I’m going to have my ass handed to me, and yet I think I’m going to enjoy it.

My question for you: who is your favorite fitness guru?
Don’t be shy . . .

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Susan Powter is very entertaining, but my FAVORITE fitness guru is Alie. *GRIN*



Wednesday, Sept. 20, 2006 - 9:45 a.m.

Spandex and Sequins, it's Elvis Wednesday!!

As a disclaimer, I’m not an official wrestling fan. I appreciate wrestling, and make a point to watch Olympic wrestling when ever it rolls around. As a kid, I was confused by “entertainment wrestling” such as WWF, but was very fond of Andre the Giant, and was inordinately happy to see him cast in the film “The Princess Bride”.

Yes, I know it’s ELVIS WEDNESDAY, read on!

An excerpt from a book written by Jerry Lawler (the self-proclaimed “King of Memphis wrestling”) tells a story of a karate vs. wrestling match that never happened. As you may know, Elvis was into karate, and worked out with/was trained by Bill Wallace of Memphis State, apparently he was a fan of professional wrestling also! Jerry and Vernon Presley (Elvis’ dad) made tentative arrangements for a match to be held when Elvis returned from his ’77 tour.

But I digress!

My intention was to introduce you to a wrestling tag team called
“The Flying Elvis’s “
. Sadly, they were only together for a year, using Elvis-esque moves such as “The All Shook Up” which is a Hiptoss into Neckbreaker, “The Love Me Tender” a Super Neckbreaker, and “Trip To Graceland”, which is a Forward Fallaway Roll Slam.

Don’t you feel enlightened? ;)



Tuesday, Sept. 19, 2006 - 4:43 p.m.

ya learn something new every day

I'm home from work today, feeling murky-brained, achy-bodied, and experiencing calm-ish, low-grade panic that is all too common for me when I'm not in stupendous, invincible mode. The only symptoms that would make verbal sense to a traditional doctor are: sore throat, hot and cold flashes, no appetite, extreme lethargy, (can't sleep, yet too tired to read in bed?!) and horrific flashes of heartburn.

Normally, I'd just accept that I was sick; clock out for the day and ride out the storm, but TODAY OF ALL DAYS, I have tickets to attend a really cool event, in oh . . . . less than 3 hours. I stumbled into these tickets for free, because yet again, the people I work with/for are very kind to me. The tickets were originally intended for someone else, when they bailed, I received them as a gift, and perhaps as a reminder that I'm appreciated.

Pouty pouty pout pout. I'm going to get cleaned up as if I feel fine, and unless I have an elevated temperature, Mr. Hubby and I are GOING.

Where was I?


In an attempt to hurry up and get the hell better I've been drinking herbal tea all day and decided to do the "warm up" portion of Susan Powter's "Trailer Park Yoga" tape.

I don't know the first THING about yoga, but I'm pretty sure I didn't screw up too badly, because I'm not in more pain than when I started. I'd like to get through the entire tape after I've had a look at some pictures of yoga poses so I have more of a clue what I'm supposed to be doing, and feeling physicall well and in my right mind would be oh-so-helpful too.

Now that you've suffered though this whiny-ass post, I'll share my discovery with you:

Suki loves yoga. She'd do downward dog with me then drag herself by her front paws across the carpet under my body. When I reached for the ceiling, she stood on her hind paws, tapping me on the hip with her front paws. Her tail was wagging, and she had her satisified "go for walk" or "car ride" face on. When I was reduced to laying on the floor to stretch after five or ten minutes, Suki flopped on the couch nearest me, alternately watching me and the tv screen with interest.

- insert witty comment here -

I'm heading back to bed now, my feet feel like ice blocks!



Monday, Sept. 18, 2006 - 9:43 a.m.

for lack of topic - a rant about music

Good morning campers; I've got the Monday blahs to the nth degree, and severe heartburn is preventing me from drinking any coffee for at least a few more hours. So, the creative gears have come to a rusty, grinding halt. Proceed with caution.

You might remember that my music collection was upheaved by the crash of my laptop a few months ago, approximately 25% of the tracks were lost completely, and the remaining track lost their ratings. SO, I have the no-so-unpleasant task of re-rating all my mp3s, and deterimining who is "worthy" of harddrive space.

I'd like to share just a few of my conclusions:

Chet Atkins & Les Paul
Andrew Bird

Not Worthy?
95% of Enya tracks (South Park summarizes it well)
Eric Gorfain's String Quartet tribute to NIN (yes, NIN musak)
Dead Can Dance (I get it already, you're cool and unusual - now get over yourself)

Nothing wrong with "happy calm music", but sometimes musicians miss the mark and are unintentionally participating in music abuse. Respect yourself, respect your ears - don't fear the "delete" button.



Friday, Sept. 15, 2006 - 8:49 a.m.

witty title goes here

Hi guys.

I have a FANTASTIC photo of Suki I wanted to share in honor of our one year anniversary, but there was a pale, squinty-faced, bandanna wearin' nerd in the background that needs to be photoshopped out. Mr. Lee has been out of town on a boring business trip for the past few days, but I'm sure he'll be kind enough to help me edit the photo this weekend, as I plan on grilling steak tomorrow afternoon . . .

Perhaps I should keep the angry "I'm surrounded by freakin' idiots" stuff to myself, only Alie was brave enough to comment yesterday. Maybe, just possibly she knows me in person, and would vouch that I use my verbal spaz powers for good and not evil . . . . most of the time.

oooooh, speaking of good and not evil:

I'd like to apologize to Steve McClain the singer/songwriter/geographer who is very unlikely to be the same Steve McClain who should be dropped into a porta-potty on a hot afternoon at a beer festival.



Thursday, Sept. 14, 2006 - 9:05 a.m.

puppy anniversary GOOD / environmental sabotage BAD

Tupak has been gone for 10 years, Whitney is leaving Bobby after 14 years, Brittany had a second baby boy one year after Preston arrived, Jim Carrey is leaving his agent after 15 years, and an asswipe from Philadelphia named Steve McClain will spend (only) a year in jail for knowingly polluting the Deleware River with sewage.

I'll get back to slimy, nit-infested, manure-for-brains Steve in just a moment.

For now, I'd like to revel in the fact that I've been living with Suki for almost a year. Tomorrow marks the anniversary of me posting her bail at the petstore. (Yes I am ashamed that I didn't adopt a dog from a shelter, but I'm also proud of myself for purposely purchasing a 5 month old Beagle mix: aka housetraining nightmare). The same dog who now bounces around like a kangaroo once was baffled by the task of hopping up one 7 inch step to my front stoop.

I marvel at the routines we've developed together, I laugh at the floorshows she and the cats put on nearly every day, and even as I try to figure out how long it is going to take me to pay off her vet bills, I simply cannot imagine that my life ever felt complete without her. Suki Esmerelda, Suki-Doo, Sharky-Doo, Doo-Doo, Duke, Dukezilla, Dukeasaurous Rex, Dukeronomy, will the list of names grow as the years pass?

In other news, she's developed the "Freeto-scented" funk of an adult dog, the sweet puppy scent is only a memory. I must be careful using the word "stinky" around her, as around my house, it serves as a command rather than a word which describes a noun. Someone who weighs 13 pounds and shits outdoors is getting a bath tonight.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Speaking of shit, let's bet back to Steve McClain.

I'm so pissed off at this guy that I'm going to have to leave it to James McGinnis, who writes for the Bucks County Courier Times to tell you what's going on. The contents below were copied and pasted from www.phillyburbs.com. I'd make Steve bathe in and drink the water he contaminated, and leave him there to cope for a few days, just like all the lifeforms downstream of his selfish, cowardly, hope-he-never-lives-this-down stunt had to cope with contaminated water. Does this make me a raging bitch? I think not.

Year in jail for ex-sewer director

Bucks County Courier Times

BRISTOL TOWNSHIP - A former Bristol Township employee who knowingly polluted the Delaware River with sewage will serve one year in prison, after cooperating in a separate FBI investigation of municipal finances.

After the jail term, Steve McClain, who was director of the township sewer plant, must also spend three months in a halfway house and another nine months under house arrest “without monitoring,” federal circuit Judge Michael M. Baylson ordered Wednesday. Baylson also ordered McClain to pay $4,000 in fines.

More costly to McClain, however, is that he will lose more than $80,000 in back pay, benefits and vacation time owed to him by the township, for which he worked for more than 30 years. McClain cannot make the township pay him that money since he's been convicted, township Manager Suzanne Newsome said.

A second Bristol Township employee, Ronald Meinzer Jr., has also pleaded guilty to similar charges of polluting the river. Meinzer could be sentenced Friday.

Federal investigators said both men knowingly discharged thousands of gallons of raw sewage into the Delaware River. They allowed monitors that protected the river to remain disabled and they tampered with test samples to make the plant look good.

McClain accepted full responsibility Wednesday for the pollution and all the charges. “I'd like to apologize to all the people of Bristol Township,” he said. “I, and I alone, did this.”

Despite his confessions, Bristol Township police Chief James McAndrew testified in court, calling McClain “a law-abiding man.”

The police chief was interrupted by the judge. “[McClain] is not law-abiding. That is why we're here today,” Baylson said.

Further testimony by Bristol Township Councilwoman Karen Lipsack, who spoke on McClain's behalf, led to a confrontation between her and the U.S. Attorney's Office. Lipsack testified that the plant continues to have problems. “We are still having the same problems in the same place,” Lipsack said. “We have sabotage.”

Prosecutors asked Lipsack on Wednesday if those problems have been reported to the Environmental Protection Agency. Lipsack said: “I don't know.”

Baylson said Wednesday he was twice stunned by the actions of the U.S. Attorney's Office. Prosecutors hadn't disclosed a deal they made with McClain, he said, and they weren't asking for him to serve jail time.

McClain is assisting the FBI in an ongoing probe of the township's dealings with Commerce Bank. The FBI is looking into business relations between Commerce and at least four Bucks County towns. In January, investigators subpoenaed financial records from Bensalem, Bristol Township, Bristol, Tullytown and the Lower Bucks County Joint Municipal Authority.

Prosecutors first had demanded “significant” jail time and penalties for McClain but later changed the request to house arrest. Baylson said they were ignoring punishment guidelines set for McClain's charges.

“Mr. [Seth] Webber, you surprise me,” Baylson said. “How you can take one position for all the drug dealers but not for this man is hard for me to understand.

“Do you have authorization to do this?” Baylson asked. He then temporarily postponed the hearing and told Webber to call his superiors in the U.S. Attorney's Office.

“I can't believe what you are saying here today,” Baylson said. “I am not going to have a public official who committed a serious crime receive a punishment that does not include incarceration,” Baylson continued.

As part of a sentencing memorandum to the judge this summer, prosecutors had suggested that McClain pay for a public advertisement in a local newspaper and admit his crimes. Baylson denied that.

“You have a right to free speech and you have a right not to make a speech,” Baylson said.

James McGinnis can be reached at 215-949-3248 or jmcginnis@phillyBurbs.com.

September 14, 2006 7:50 AM



Wednesday, Sept. 13, 2006 - 9:01 a.m.

it's a bird . . . it's a plane . . . . it's Elvis?

No really!

You can find out more about this sequin-wearing parachute troop at flyingelvi.com.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

My apologies for such a short post, I've got hella-papershuffling to do today, and . . well . . . although my blog plays a role in keeping me sane and happy, it doesn't pay my bills.

Please stop by next Wednesday, Elvis will be making an appearance in yet another venue!



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